Seedless Hydroponic Cucumber

I chose a quart of Rocky Road and made for the express lane
When a woman rushed ahead me in line
Sometimes I get defensive in this type of situation
But her purchase made me realize I had time

She wasn’t buying Band-Aids or iodine or gauze
It didn’t seem to be a matter of First Aid
My curiosity read the label wrapped around her package
As the impatient woman wrote her check and paid

chorus:
Seedless Hydroponic Cucumber
Perhaps she had an urgent dietary need
Seedless Hydroponic Cucumber
Or wanted something with that shape that didn’t have a seed

I know what I did next was wrong but she had caught my fancy
I trailed her to find out the fate of her produce
She led me to a parking lot with a dark rear entrance
I couldn’t have been more surprise than I was by the sight

The room was filled with people and cameras and lights
I hid behind a fern to see what they filmed
The announcer said: “Welcome to the Galloping Gourmet!”
The woman put her cucumber in a tasty dish

chorus

Words and music by Scott Yoho ©1992 Auto Order Music (BMI)


Back to Self-titled debut...