Is Mister Carlson In?

Last Friday was a really nice day
Nobody wanted to work
You were sick, your secretary said
I should call back on Monday

Monday you were out of town
Call back on Tuesday
Tuesday you never came in call back on Wednesday

This went on for a week till I meekly said
That you never were in
Then the lady said
You’d had a death in your family
And she didn’t like the tone of my voice

Thursday you were out for lunch
Call back on Friday
Friday you had just stepped out call back on Monday

Is Mister Carlson In?
Who’s calling please?
Is Mister Carlson there?
Who’s calling please?

At the mention of death my eyes lit up
At the idea that it might be you
I imagined you crushed
In your office one day
When your safe accidentally fell over

Later I remorsed* that maybe someone
Really had died
That kind of weakness
Is why you manage a company
While I barely manage at all

Words and music by Scott Yoho ©1992 Auto Order Music (BMI)

*There’s a long-standing songwriting tradition of making up new words. Where would Supercalifragilistiexpialidocious be without it?


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